Again I awoke before the sun with a feeling of...disquiet. There is something in the air, an tension building.

I smell violence, something dark on the still winds.

Is it just me? The feeling of “pressure” building, this sense of something hard and cold pressing up on the bottom of my diaphragm. The air is so thick, clinging, clammy humidity holds so much within it. Darkness brewing, an drawing in and holding of breath...not held as long as in the past, yet released and another taken in contemplative, pause of dark thoughts.

The pressure surrounds me. It is not fear I feel, only disquiet, a sense of...something of lower vibration.

I feel it surround me, my body, this numbing weight.

No, I am not frightened, I am aware. Will keep watching, keep “seeing”, awaiting the small signs, the “triggers” of events coming. I’ve seen some already, things that catch the corner of your eye and stick with you, unable to shake them from your conscious. Things like the wall about the window we had to dismantle, clean so I can get to the cementing. Been too sick to manage it, will have to try today. Yet what sticks out in my mind are the rocks, those hunks of large, ragged-edged rubble. I see them every time I look out the window, I see the way we had to cut the protective hedges away from other ground floor windows and the two images will not separate.

It is October. It is THE month, all the warnings given. The return of the college kids put some mitigation on things, the newcomers, distractions and targets, yet they are all settled in now. Having their own “parties” and drunken debauches. I don’t know, I feel things merging here.

Time more then ever now to go softly, to be quiet, try to stay faded in the background, not draw attention to ourselves. Difficult to do with the store open, not so bad when its not. Oh, it is not the open daylight hours which must be thought of, but the night, the early, pre-dawn ones. Time of the wolf. The wolves...

People are coming to us with their own stories, their own senses of things being “off”, of an growing darkness. I surf some of the journals and more entries about stalkers, troubles at work and random craziness, senseless things are appearing.

I hope this bump that is coming, this quake of events will be brief, done and over with, yet I do not think that it shall. Too many are hauling up stakes and leaving for the high ground. Too many people I know, close, acquaintances, or the only heard about friends of friends are dying. Oh, not in violence, just sudden illnesses and the like. Others are tragedies which could have been avoided, such as the “outsiders” whom had no place to go and the heat of summer killed them...dying alone needlessly. Yup, been one HELL of a year...and this year is coming to a close.

Gods help us all...especially the unaware Masses. Then again, it is their own fault for being unaware, living in state of blind denial.

Then again, I have feeling a lot of Them are not going to notice a damn thing. Ha. I mean really, who notices New Orleans anymore, right? Yeah, same old story, not important until it happens to You--and then watch the bitching start!

Guess what? No one is going to listen to you, either.

Sucker.

You get what you pay for, you reap what you’ve sown.

It’s Harvest Time, people.

Still, it’s not all bad. (Bad? Good? There is a difference? Truly?) Trauma, upheaval, loss...nothing new there. Indeed, I do believe that the Quake of Change is going to be subtle. Don’t worry overmuch. Yes, We are getting out of the dead zone, but only so We will still be there when needed. We’ll be watching out for You from the High places. Only We have to get out now before you murder Us in you masses blindness and incomprehension. In Your animal instincts of mindless fear. Christ, that sounds so fucking arrogant, doesn’t it? Ah well, does not keeping from being true. Deal with it.

Ah, LWM, you if no one else understands what I am talking about through this mind-wandering, free-flowing dark muse which, by Lord and Lady I should not post for public eyes. Hell of a thing though, isn’t it?

How strange, yet I have no fear at all. Not the least little bit of it. Not inside where is matters. Indeed, there are some incredibly fine things waiting ahead, you know it, I know it, still, there should be something, shouldn’t there?

Man, I’m actually sitting here grinning. Talk about having a skewed perception. LOL

Sighs.

Yeah, it’s time to put a binder on my mouth. Getting that sense strongly as well. Think this is going to be the last time I talk this stuff, am target enough as is. Not just me, Others should contemplate going quiet as well now. We’ve given Our warnings aloud, now it is time for Whispers. No more openness, only speak to those whom ask, one on one. Even there, not everyone, only The ones, you understand?

Heh, heh, heh...walking in Multi Worlds at once is quite the thing, folks. I envy You, swear gods I do. Got it so fucking easy, you just live and die, no big deal. You hurt Us like Hell in your ignorance and blindness. Yep, now there is something it is better to give then receive alright. Lucky bastards.

Now that everyone who read that ramble is convinced I’m freaking nuts, got to admit I’m feeling pretty good today. Helped to get that out, truth or self delusion/illusion, what have you.

No, there is only one things really bothering me at the moment. Someone who has been growing stronger in my thoughts of late. Every day, every morning I awake with these thought. Am going to have to do something about it soon.

Oh, Big Guy, I MISS YOU! My Friend, I love you, I want to hug you. Why did you do THAT--to me??!

And then you went and fucking died. You son of a bitch! Don’t even have the fucking balls to come see me now!

Oh, my friend, I know you were hurting, I KNOW YOU, so why? Why, why, why? You were the one who opened my closed heart to people, let me TRUST once more, me after everything I had been through in this life...and then you shit on everything, broke my heart when you turned your back on me. I was a wreck for a year, Big Guy. Couldn’t write or do anything. Ten months it’s been now since you passed and I still can’t say your name aloud without shattering.

Is it my anger? You are too fucking sensitive, that was always your problem. Are you trying to get through now, is it this rage putting up a wall between? I’ve got to go to your grave, don’t I? Jerk. You big, crazy, grinning and live-life-to-the-fullest till it killed you, peckerhead.

Man, oh man, R, you are SO in for a major ass kicking when we meet again, I swear.

I need you, R. Need that big shoulder to cry on right now. Need it more than ever. You were the ONLY one with whom I could say anything, everything too. Never needed to hide my pain, you could see it ALL and it did not crush you.

Why couldn’t you do the same for me? Why did you waste those final years we had of your life like that? All the things we never got to do.

Oh, Big Guy, I swear...

Thank you though, R. Thank you, my friend. Because of you I am able to have other true friends now as well. My heart didn’t close down after what you did. To much anger though. That betrayal was huge as you are. Then again, I’m used to that as well.

So, okay, I’ll go to your grave. Just give me a bit of time to get things cleared up here. Then I’ll come with Emile and we’ll grin, knowing how you were buried and with what, your most prized of possessions. What a nutball.

I love you, Big Guy. Always will.

BUT you are STILL going to get you ass kicked HARD! Then again, knowing you, you’re going to love it. HA!